Adventures with Jesus Today

Episode 311 - The Secret to Forgiving When It Hurts

August 4th, 2026

"Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."
Luke 6:28

I used to read that verse and think, sure, Lord — but how? Because I can decide to forgive someone with my head and still feel the exact same knot in my chest a week later.

Here's what the Lord showed me when I sat with Him and asked what forgiveness actually looks like in practice: it's not something we achieve. It's something we hand over. And when we do, three specific things happen — in that order.

Step 1 | First, You Decide 🤲

The first thing that happens is physical, and it's an act of your will.

When you say, "God, I don't want to hold this anymore, I'm giving it to You," you are actually removing something from your heart and your mind. Not pretending it didn't happen. Not deciding it didn't hurt. Removing it from where it's been living rent-free.

This is the step most of us skip, because we're waiting to feel forgiving first. But feeling was never the entry point. Willingness is. You don't need warm feelings toward that person to open your hands — you just need to decide you'd rather God carried it than you.

And here's the mercy in it: God never asked you to be strong enough to release it. He asked you to be willing enough to pass it over.

Hey there, I'm

Lisa van den Berg

I'm a Christian entrepreneur and identity coach who helps believers hear God, discover their purpose, and build businesses that make an
eternal impact.

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Step 2 | Then God Does the Part You Couldn't 🔓

The second thing is the one you can't do on your own, no matter how sincere you are.

While we're still holding the offence, there's an attachment — a connection between us and that person, that situation, that hurt. The enemy loves that connection, because it's the cable the repeating record runs on. And no amount of intellectual deciding will cut it. I've tried. I've said all the right words and still lain awake rehearsing the conversation.

But when we genuinely hand it over and ask God to apply His love to the situation, His power enters it. And God is love. So this stops being you making a decision about a person and becomes God's love doing the healing work in you.

That's when the tie breaks. Not before.

Step 3 | Blessing Turns Into Gratitude 🌱

The third thing surprised me the most.

Once that connection is severed, you can suddenly do the thing the verse actually asks. You can bless them. You can pray for them — and mean it.

"Lord, will You bless them? Will You cause their family to prosper? Will You reconcile the relationships around them? Will You heal whatever they're hurting from? Will You help them fall in love with You?"

And as you pray it, something rises up that you did not manufacture: gratitude. Real gratitude, for the person. You find yourself interceding before God for someone you once couldn't name without flinching.

Gratitude is the most stunning way to stay connected to God — and forgiveness, done His way, hands it to you as a gift on the other side.

✨ Say “Yes” to God’s Invitation

My friend, I've watched so many people walk out from under strife, offence and bitterness this way — not by trying harder, but by opening their hands. I'm praying it does the same for you.

Jesus is inviting you on this adventure of the redemptive power of forgiveness today.

Will you accept His invitation today? 💛

CHRISTIAN COACH | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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Hey There I'm

Lisa van den Berg

I'm a Christian entrepreneur and identity coach who helps believers hear God, discover their purpose,
and build businesses that make an
eternal impact.